Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
