if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
