I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
