i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
