The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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