walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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