your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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