Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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