you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
