how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
