I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!