Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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