Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
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I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
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Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.