Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
