I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
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So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
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Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.