just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
