and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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