Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
vagina is talking i cant
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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