I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
