I looked at my own cervix.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize