I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
