YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize