Screwed.edu
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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