I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
