We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
