she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize