We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
