i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
