Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
time to smoke my breakfast
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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