its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
