You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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