saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
