I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
