Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
