i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
