STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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