I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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