pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize