All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
time to smoke my breakfast
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
