i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
