Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
She told me I should be a condom model.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
