She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
