Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
