Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
