I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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