So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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