My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
