arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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