He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
