this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Randomize
