yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
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Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
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My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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