Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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