So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
