Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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