Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
