Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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