Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
