I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
