There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
