Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
