all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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