So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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