I have demons in me.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.