If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Randomize
