I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
