Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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