have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
