new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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